Life With Three

Thanks guys, for all your hard work to raise money for the National Multiple Sclerosis Society! There are more riders with Grampa Myette’s Loose Sprockets than just these 5, but I don’t have pictures of the other riders handy.  (Want to donate? Want more info? Click here.)

   Michael-John Myette          Jim Fuehrmeyer           Betsy Bowman

    Erin Hempstead               Claire Hoipkemier (third from left, apparently meditating)

2004 Grampa Myette’s Loose Sprockets

I’ve had many conversations lately with many different people on these topics.  We’ve offered many questions, but not so many answers.  There’s the ever popular “organic vs. cheap” debate in grocery shopping. We all know pesticides on veggies and fruits , hormones in meat and milk, and chemicals on packaged/ prepared foods are bad for you, but we also know that organic foods are more expensive. Is it worth it to pay more?

There’s the pull between buying delicious imported fruits that come in our off-season but are bought from overseas, and the new trend toward being a “locovore” in which you strive to buy as much food as possible from local sources.  This is tricky to do, and can require driving to many stores and markets - which then requires lots of gasoline and pollution.

Then there’s the “food of the day” movement in which every day we read another article on which food offers which miracle cure for cancer, depression, obesity, PMS, etc.  We’re told what to eat and what to avoid, and some days I think the only way to make it is to only eat lettuce (for the roughage factor) and pomegranates (for the antioxidants). Other days I’m pretty sure that everything I eat is bad for me in some way or another, and really, I’m just choosing from various ways of poisoning my body.

And speaking of poisoning my body, there’s this new question of BPA and plastics - do we throw out all of our old BPA-full plastic cups, Nalgenes and bottles and buy new stuff? Do we buy plastics at all? Do we ignore the fear, wondering if it’s just a trend and not really as dangerous as some people think? I have one friend who is part of a moms’ group that likes to jump on the bandwagon a lot, and their latest thing is the BPA-free cups and bottles. It’s easy to get caught up in what’s new and put forth as bad or good for us, but harder to make wise decisions based on good information, not just on what everyone else is doing. (As for us, we did decide to go BPA free as much as we can - I’m trying to limit as many toxins as I can in our bodies, and I have a feeling we’re only going to find further information on how harmful BPA is for us. But that’s just us.)  Then again, even going BPA free isn’t enough, since they’re now saying the cans we get our soup, veggies and other food products leech some chemical or another into our food.  Sheesh.  It’s hard to keep up with everything, let alone keep it out of our bodies.  The vaccine debate is another example of the great toxin debate - both their effect on neurological development, and their part in public health. I won’t even go into that one.

Then there’s the trend toward using reusable bags instead of either plastic or paper.  My mom got me on this one and I love it.  I love not having a million small bags floating around the house after I grocery shop, and I love the ease of using easy to carry bags.  However, a friend of ours who lives in Honduras says they won’t let you bring bags into the grocery store for reuse - even your old plastic ones - because of fear of shoplifting.  So much for my snazzy Target bags. 

A few things I/we have done for almost 6 years now, partly to limit the amount of artificial products and chemicals going into and onto our children’s bodies, are breastfeed all 3 kids and cloth diaper all 3, though lately we’ve slowed down on the CD due to both the overwhelming amount of laundry we’ve had and the moving we’ve done/ still have to do. However, I have a number of friends who are considering doing CD with yet-to-be-born children, and many others who ask advice on switching to cloth. I’ve written the “how we do it in our household” email many times now and my goal this week, now that we have our camera back from getting fixed, is to take pictures of Jacob and Maggie in various covers and styles of diapers, so I can just have all our thoughts and “how-to” on CD in one convenient post.  We’ll see if I get there.  For now, Mothering has a few great articles.

Ahhhh. So many things to think about, so little time.  Making good decisions for my family is becoming more and more complicated every day.

We were 6 women in all at Saturday’s gathering- 5 married with children, 1 single, all 6 Catholic. Our conversation largely centered around marriage and family, and the various challenges we faced in raising our children.  One of the topics that came up was the challenge of following God’s will in accepting children into our families.  Without knowing most of these women too well, I am reasonably comfortable saying that our approach to thinking about this topic (if not our practice) is fairly similar. 

Women of all faiths around the world struggle with the call to trust God and God’s wisdom in giving us children - a call that seems simple in theoretical terms but is much harder when we consider the challenges of daily life.  Unemployment, medical, developmental, learning, behavioral or emotional problems in a parent or older child, the desire (and financial ability) to have one parent home with the kids instead of working, the ability to afford a good home, school, food and clothing, even the amount of patience and skill a couple has with their current children — all these are aspects of daily life that enter into any couple’s decision of how open to be to accepting new children into the family.  It’s an incredibly tough conversation to have when one is only thinking about the realities of daily life - and adding the “Catholic” aspect just adds a whole other level. 

As a small group (and as part of a much larger group around the world, both Catholic and non-Catholic) we asked many questions: Do we really trust God’s ability to see the bigger picture and “only” give us the number of children we can lovingly parent?  What if we don’t “want” any more children?  What if one spouse wants more children than the other? What if we don’t think we’re ready?  What if we’re ready but the child doesn’t come?  What if we can barely handle the children and responsibilities we have now?  What if God doesn’t (seem to) agree with our assessment of the current situation in our family??

They’re incredibly hard questions. Some of us asked these questions, some of us asked others.  Some are hoping the next baby comes soon.  Some aren’t.  Some aren’t sure.  Some practice natural family planning, some had studied  Theology of the Body, and some are questioning the appropriateness of NFP for their family. The common thread among all 6 of us was the strong desire for our faith to play a central, leading role in these conversations and decisions.  It was incredibly refreshing to be able to share honestly on such an important area of our lives.

We took the kids to the zoo yesterday and they had a great time. 

While the train ride certainly was a highlight, Michael also loved seeing the snow leopards, hearing the lion roar, and watching the alligator bask in the sun. 

Maggie enjoyed a nap in her new stroller. 

As for Jacob, he was happy to swing like a monkey, pose for pictures, and of course, eat ice cream. 

I asked Kris and Nathaniel if I could be in charge of helping young Isaiah make his internet debut, and they said yes…so here’s Isaiah!

He’s 6 weeks old now, and while he came 4 weeks early and weighing only 5lbs 13oz, he’s managed to pork himself up to a whopping 8 lbs or so.  He’s beautiful and loves to snuggle and eat - what more could Kris and Nathaniel want? (Besides 8 hours of interupted sleep, of course.) 

Here’s the official photo…

Just a quick note, while my boys are gettng their Typhoid shots, Michael is getting the 5th (to him, not today) DTaP shot the nurse in Arlington SWORE he didn’t need (for free, with insurance) and now it turns out he needs (for cash, since insurance only covers in Mass.), and we’re getting ready to go to the zoo. 

Maggie is crawling!!! Only 2-3 “steps” at a time, but she’s making forward progress and able to get toys for herself, if Jacob doesn’t get them faster.  It’s pretty cute.  She’s also babbling a lot more, saying “ala” (or is it “Allah”?) and la-la-la - I’ll try to get a video up of her this week. (photo: Maggie and Gramps Myette)

Jacob is still Jacob.  Sweet as can be, snuggling with me by night and playing with my hair by day…but man, can he turn on a dime and earn himself a time-out for hitting his brother or kicking someone else. Oh Jacob, someday you will have learned to better regulate your emotions and behavior.  Hopefully soon… (Right: Jacob and Jack)

And Michael? He gets to go both to zoo camp this next week and tennis lessons the following two weeks!  If he makes it through, it should be a fun 3 weeks for him as he works on physical, mental and interpersonal skills.  He’s getting so big, it’s amazing to think he’ll start kinder this fall. Now all we have to do is figure out where… (photo: last day of school, with teachers)

Michael-John is also making forward progress in his class and independent study, but I’ll let him talki about that.  As for me, I’m doing the final sort of toys, books, clothing and household goods to see what makes the cut for Teguc.

Betsy B., Maggie’s godmother, is a high school teacher at Prospect Hill Academy (PHA) in Cambridge, MA.  This May PHA launched their Junior Journey, a three-week immersion trip to Antigua, Guatemala.  Betsy and two other teachers are leading a group of 20 students in the pilot program, and if all goes well, subsequent years will see the entire junior class (60-75 students) on the spring trip. 

Students are spending their mornings in Spanish class and their afternoons teaching English at a local gradeschool.  They live with host families and from their entries seem to be learning and seeing a lot. They are learning how to be long-term guests in a home (a difficult task for anyone), having adventures (including climbing a volcano), and witnessing firsthand the simplicity and poverty of Guatemala.  One student conducted a clothing drive at her church, and she and her classmates delivered 11 checked-bags worth of clothing to the families of their English students.

They are keeping a blog of their journey, which i’ve enjoyed reading. It’s getting me geared up for our own family’s return to Central America.  I’d encourage you to read it here too!

Well, we’ve unofficially moved to South Bend, Indiana.  I say unofficially because we haven’t changed our drivers licenses, but we have moved everything we didn’t sell or give away into my parents’ house.  The trip Tuesday went as well as can be expected.  I got up around 4am, showered, ate the last two mini-cannoli from the empty fridge, and got the kids ready to go.  Check-in and airport security went smoothly, and the only flaw was that our tiny Air-Tran terminal did NOT have a Dunkin’ Donuts.  We had Luna bars instead.  The plane ride was also easy - Jacob slept the second half and I figured out that when travelling solo with all 3 kids, the middle seat really IS the best place for me.

We flew into Midway and 35 minutes after landing had retrieved 2 bags and 3 carseats, changed diapers and pottied, installed said 3 carseats, and were on our way through the southwest and south sides of Chicago to a pancake house in Hyde Park.  It was wierd to be back in neighborhoods I had once driven through daily but hadn’t seen for years- nothing had changed.  We waved to Visitation School where Daddy had worked, saw where Mama lived when she was Jacob’s age, and watched the Metra train go by as we went into breakfast.  After stuffing ourselves with wonderful pecan pancakes and bacon, we headed to South Bend.

We’ve been here 4 days now and the kids are adjusting well.  Jacob has told me that “we’re all done with the green house” and loves having his grandparents and Aunt Katie (”I need Aunt Katie”, he told me yesterday) around so much.  Michael is working on riding a two-wheeler, and Maggie continues to be incredibly mobile, crawling in every direction but forwards. My Mom and I have grand plans to do cocktails/ happy hour out once a week, but traded this week’s session for a trip to the outlet mall instead.  It’s nice to be back with family, though it’s a bit wierd to have left Medford (pics from the last few weeks are here).

As for Michael-John, he’s started a class at a local university in “communication between cultures”  and will also be doing an independent study to complete his Fletcher graduation requirements.  He/we really enoyed Fletcher graduation weekend and our time with his family. He survived the 20 hour trip driving the truck and hauling the car, and gets lots of props from all of us.

Last but not least, my sister Katie has joined the ranks of post-graduate degree holders, and as long as she passes the bar will soon become a full-fledged lawyer.  Yea, Katie!!!!!

We’re almost packed.  The boys keep asking what we’re doing with this toy or that clothing, and I am doing my best to explain that some things are being given away to people who need clothes, and that other items are coming with us to Tegucigalpa.  The rest will stay in South Bend for the year with Emma and Papa, until we get a larger shipping allowance and can take the rest of our stuff with us to our next post (which will happen once Michael-John is a regular employee instead of a fellow, hopefully next summer).  We’re selling a good bit of furniture, which is a bit confusing for Jacob.  He asked me Thursday, “Why that lady take our couch?”… It’s hard to explain Craigslist to a 2 year-old. 

As hard as it’s been to get rid of stuff, or to put things back in storage for another year (after storing most of our belongings for 2+ years while we were at the Finca), it’s been good for us.  We really try to live the pillar of simplicity, and while simplicity here looks different than it did at the Finca (no more cold showers or 2-inch thin mattresses), we’re hoping to get rid of a lot of our extraneous belongings and simplify our outside-life a little bit, in hopes of also simplifying our inside selves. 

[n.b.: While I was in the middle of writing this post, the girl called about picking up my super-comfy desk chair...we did re-think selling it for just a few minutes, but then figured we may as well since it probably wouldn't fit in the truck.  I am sad to lose it, though...]